We have been married almost a year and I found myself confessing to a friend that it still seems so hard. I guess I thought the one year mark would be some magic date where everything would just get easier. (Those of you that are married are laughing right now I’m sure) I find myself thinking, “it should not be this hard.” Here is what a friend had to say to me and I thought these were important words for all wives to read!
“Those thoughts are poison to a marriage and Satan will take that one little hole that those thoughts create in your relationship and rip them open to tear you guys apart. The truth is: 1. Marriage is always hard, it is the greatest sanctifier other than children (there is no should or shouldn’t be this hard, its your relationship so its all you have to work with) 2. The only thing wrong with the both of you is your sin nature that God is working on refining and everyone is in that boat in different ways.”
My sin nature… hmmmm. So, I feel like I have really sucked at respecting, loving, and serving my husband lately. I am really finding how much I don’t want to submit “in all things.” I am finding that I don’t really have any idea how to be a Godly wife most of the time. I keep reading books, keep praying, keep begging God to help me. Anyone else feel that way? Well, here is what else my dear friend had to say…
“…the solution is always the same I Peter: “so that even if some do not obey the word they will be won without a word by the conduct of their wives- when they see your pure and respectful conduct”. Our power as wives is not in what we say, its in our actions that are pure and its in the prayers we scream at times (God heard the wives in Malachi). I will challenge you with this: if you believe so firmly in the tribulation that we will have supernatural food, water, resources, favor and whatever else we need…where is your faith that God leads through your husband, God intends for you to follow Andrew and will work in and through Andrew for your life? The heart of submission to a husband is a heart firmly trusting in God so that even in Andrew’s leadership or lack of leadership you will only be drawn into a further fellowship with Christ as you experience suffering for His sake. The call to being a wife is the call of “lastness” and a life of the sermon on the mount. It means laying down all rights and freedoms you could claim as a single person and letting them go. If you call yourself a Warrior Princess then be one in this marriage and fight in prayer and when your wrong scream that you’re sorry and then scream that you forgive Andrew.”
When I first read this I actually thought, “well I guess I am gonna have to change the name of my blog, I don’t really feel like much of a warrior lately.” I am trying to snap out of that. I thought her words were too good not to share and would perhaps bless others. I can sit here all day and say that submission is hard. But the truth is that it is only “hard” cause I am stubborn and rebellious. I am a control freak. I am ridiculously independent, and super co-dependent all at the same time! When I get quiet and my spirit is at rest and peace, when my flesh is not screaming so loud I get a headache, in those moments, I know! The truth is that submission to Andrew is the most joyful, peaceful, safest place that I could be. In my submission (in my trust, and respect, and reverence, and adoration) to Andrew, I am placing myself in the arms of a man who loves me so much, and in the hands of a God who loves me even more! (I just wish I could remember that the next time I want to kick a hole in the bedroom door.
Warrior Princess Diaries 